Sick yet hurt is something not worth experiencing.
I also not blaming you but it just perhaps cant accept it yet.
It just too sudden for me.
One moment you say you do, the next moment you say you dont.
Just need some time alone to think.

Today, got fever during flag day.
Cant wait for it to fry my brain.
Just let me die with this life of mine.
sux to be me.
My last post for this blog until dunno when.
Dun wan come on9 anymore.
Whether it is games or blogging or msn.
Only would on9 if got project.
Last day for me to online.
spam my msn and tagbox all ur wan.
I dont give a DAMN.
Life just sux

Today seems to be a boring day.
Nothing much to blog about.
At night, had audi wedding with Yushi.
Know new people also.
Then thats the end of my day.

Why always mention O Levels.
I keep thinking you didnt want coz of my studies.
but I am fine of it.
I would wait for you even though you dont believe.
I wont regret liking you when you think I would.
Chances of you seeing this is low thats why i post it here.

Is it me or is almost everyone on my msn has an emo private message.
From "Sometime I hate myself for wanting u" to "can ii say i still love euu?" to "though its impossible to win your heart , i want to be your good friend ;D".
Don't want to list more.
Whats wrong with life in the ending of January?
It seems like January like the month where everyone is either breaking up or being rejected.
Maybe thing would start to brighten after this Saturday.
Everything just seems to be dull at the moment.
Or is it I hanging around too many emo people until there is like a chain reaction.
Really no more mood liao.
Sometimes reading other people private message on msn really can make you thinking.
Just saw one, Can Words Be Trusted?I Doubt So.
Some kind of mistrust also seems to be going on.
Why cant just move faster?
Get rid of O levels, it just being a huge barrier in every one's life.
Get red of the CIP work as well.
Such a waste of time.
$20 to collect from 7.30am - 12.30pm.
What a joke!
Who the hell would be around a shopping centre so early in the morning.
Really wish that something like the recent online story I read would happen in life.
Having a chance to restart y9ur whole life.
Seems like a good thing even through it seems rather self-centred.
However why would there be such a good thing in life.
In the first place, wishing is won't even come true.
It just there to replace a wanting in your heart.
Just get rid of the wanting if that's the case.
I don't even feel like studying.
Seems to have just lost the motivation.

Yeah. Reverted back to the old skin.
Thanks to those pleas for me to change back.
Zzzz.
Today school like cant absorb any new knowledge.
Is like damn blur even though we did study it.
Tomorrow having test on graphs and matrics.
Should be of no problem.
Then also tomorrow got SPA.
Sianz lor.
Assembly was pretty much crap.
After assembly, went to library awhile.
I think tomorrow going to borrow book bah.
Afternoon was damn slack.
With random phone calls from people.
Just so irritating.
Phone calls about honeymoney?
Damn random.
Go people house also say until honeymoon.
Pretty lame.
Setup the audi hack at Yushi house.
Then Huiyu keep missing some people with a X marked on ASS. (Dunno I dont blame.)
Crap Asiasoft.
My PPC again not working crap.
Send the Qbox liao.
Afternoon so fast reply.
Now so slow.
Still waiting for reply.
Was at Yushi house from 4-6.
The mother say I damn tall.
Is average lor. AVERAGE.
Home. Did a bit of homework.
Not sure whether tomorrow got cca.
Sianz lor.
Stupid Asiasoft.
I cant wedding.
Got memory verse for cell this saturday.
I got stupid flag day.
Can use it to memorise it.
All those who read my blog.
Better help donate on Saturday hor.

Conditions - Keeping Pace With Planes.
I am drowning in dry land
Distance is swallowing me
This keeps my sanity close
But far from inside of my body

Complete lunacy…
I will no longer keep this within me

The closest thing to me at heart
Is the furthest thing away to touch
And all these undeservers take for granted
What we deserve so much

The world has been pulled to my feet
Closer than it's ever been
This is something to live for
The beautiful mess I am in

I know this feeling's heaven sent
And I am so confident
I will regain my sanity
When "goodbye" is a memory

The whole entire world
Is not enough to make my body still
And no matter of miles
Could make a mockery of iron will

End of CNY holiday.
Whole day playing daidi.
Too bad no money involved.
Anyway who wants money involved.
I not a gambler.
Last day of CNY holiday, people must surprise me.
Thats a nice surprise.
Trick me some more siah.
Meimei kind of emo yesterday.
CNY kenna break.
So sad.
Then now with another guy liao.
Heart seemed to mend fast.
Tomorrow going watch some pro do license.
U two better dun pangseh me hor.
And grats to a momo ren audi married liao.

Wah today woke up at 11am.
Late hor.
Yesterday slept at 2.30am.
Was reading an online fiction story.
Concept was interesting.
Woke up and finished reading it at 1pm.
Took like 5hours lor.
The story rather rated lor but in end, turns into a love story.
Didnt expect that twist there.
At least I read it to spend all my time away.
Just want time to move slightly faster during this time period.
What I find is crap is that I have no idea why was I reading it.
Anyway the story is called Doing It All Over.
It is about this 32 year old guy had a chance to make a wish which his dying patient ask him.
He said he wished he was 15 again.
Starting of the story, he was like a male slut. Quote from story.
His best female friend liked him, he didnt know.
Then blablablablabla.
Ending was as he made the wish, the guy who died, was alive again.
Also something to do with 2 people with this special powers cant live in the same time.
As the guy was going die, the author had to make another wish if not what ever he have now would be gone.
And all would be back at his 32year old self.
The whole story is like on transformation and that you should not mess with fate.
Or maybe you could only if you have that wish.
However after all it suppose to be a touching story.
Didnt regret not reading this.
Haven eat lunch not to mention dinner.
No appetite to eat.

Seems like today the song that randomly alawys play when shuffled in my music list.
We the Kings - Secret Valentine

Cant sleep today lor.
I think whole night was not able to.
7am started sms people.
So sad , going overseas.
Sms until 8.25am.
That was the time last message received.
Since bo reply, went to sleep for 1hour.
Cleared my room.
Msn like so boring lor.
Maybe is without the person online thats why boring.
Time didnt seem to pass quite lor.
So slow.
Dragged myself to audi with meimei.
Left for church.
Happy Birthday A.P.
Game was quite fun and surprising.
Like a treasurehunt but for things to do our task.
Didnt went for service.
Went home, watched the movie chn 5 showing.
Quite interesting.
At least it helps to make my time pass.
Smsed the person overseas.
At least reached overseas safely.
My sister even say he pretty siah.
3-4 more days before person returns.
Cant wait.
Like my blog, wherever you go, I'll be waiting.

Just so seriously hope that what happened today,
isnt what I think it is.
If it is that scene that God just wants to show me,
looks like it just God's plan
and that I would have to abide to it.
Just because of that,
I not sure at times whether I am over-thinking it.
Naturally, people would hope they wasnt.
Just not sure what to do.
Because of that, thought of two words.
No way am I going to post it here.
Just hope I wasnt thinking too much.
Just need to live a crap life and go through a probably not fun CNY.

Edit 1: Can dun go pl0x?
But i think it is impossible.
Yeah Audi is more important.
However for me is studies. -.-''

Edit 2: Sianz. So confused.
Dont feel like msning anymore for rest of year.
Not to mention blogging.

I want to die arhhhhh.
Kenna cheated by 7-11 with their ppc.
KNS LA.
Do experiment in school by self, did homework by myself, waiting for friends.
Then my result of all these is a NICELY DISFIGURED PPC.
Thank you for asking if you did.
So far I only know one person who did.
^^
Maybe thats the good news.
LOL.
Tomorrow need see whether got refund or an exchange.
Chances are so low.
Perhaps this "event" could just mean many things.
It could be this message got wanted to tell me?
Was praying about something yesterday night.
Asked God to show me something.
This in fact could be it.
Just confused.
If this was the picture God wanted to show me, looks like I have to be prepared for somethings.
In my mind, I am thinking of this but in my heart i just don't want it to come true.
If it is true, I would be losing something in my life now.
If it is not, I just learnt something from it about people around me.
I am pretty sure that I would be praying about it tonight.
Everything seems to just taken flight but if this was the picture.
I got nothing to say.
My heart just seem to be beating with fear.
With two scenes in mind.
I think I need prayer.

Recently have been staying back in school to do homework and class decorations.
Or does it seem like I have another motive at hand?
It is already Wednesday.
And I am like exhausted.
Usually is weekends I am like that.
Yeah.
Facebook, I have created a group SGSS (Serangoon Garden Secondary) Fuel Station.
This Fuel Station is for all Christians in our school, to come together as one.
To pray for our school, our classmates, friends and most importantly, REVIVAL.
I know it is a bold move of me to do this but what are the odds.
Living your live for Christ or just acting not like a Christian.
So if there any Christians students, try find me.
*Praying for a spark to ignite a flame in all Christians in SGSS.

Yes, I am quite kind of mood up.
Mixed feelings?
Haiz.

I suppose 19 Jan 09 is the best day in this year so far.
Busy with studies and homework.

Forget say is just nice 1year of blogging.
My first day of blogging just so happens to be on Li Zi's Birthday.
Today woke at 7 to go to cornerstone church.
This Fuel Prayer event is great.
Teach you what is means of prayer.
Starting Fuel Stations for prayer in schools.
So many new things to learn.
Bought a book from there for $10.
Actual price is like $30.
Lunch was just fried rice.
Pitiful.
Friends went to buy dishes to add in. -.-''
I just eat that pitiful fried rice.
Continue the event until 3.
Took bus 32 to Church.
On way, somehow decided to go back home.
Not sure whether I regret not going.
Usually for people, going home is something joyful about.
For today, I beg a differ.
Should have went for Youth Service.
Just blame it on my day.
Haizz.

Before you let me fall,
Kill me so I don't feel it at all.
~
~
~
~
Take me for granted,
Make me feel used.
Leave me in pieces.
Misery is company
Cuz I know that it's real.
I've learned to love the pain
Cuz that's the only way that I know how to feel.

Edit 1: No more liao.
Now is happy. Dun regret it.
Hahahahaha.

Thinking that today I would be emo but emo is not the thing for me.
Haha.
Went school with boring old stuff.
During recess was talking to Ming Hao about many things.
After school, this time he look for me to talk.
LOL.
Bought lunch and went home to eat, followed by eating my medicine.
Audition awhile then went sleep because of medicine.
Woke up, changed and went to J8 to meet Jian Zhong, Edmund, Gerald and their friend.
Went pastamania to eat.
Didnt even need to pay for dinner, Jian Zhong treat us to thank us for praying for him during his O levels.
Gerald went to treat us to the drinks.
Gerald don't want me pay for half of it, so sad.
6.30 Jian Zhong's father fetch us to Cornerstone Church.
So nice, treat us dinner and now send us there.
Reach the church, from outside, looks nothing like a church building.
However when we went in, looks more like an auditorium.
Had praise and worship, followed by a lot of prayers.
Really like can feel God's presenses among us.
Another motto for the year other than 101% for God is A Burning Passion for God.
Looks like I am not going tomorrow Math's class, going to learn more and how to be like God.
After this Fuel prayer, went for supper.
The famous Katong Laska.
This supper paid by Jian Zhong's mother.
4 teenagers squeeze into the back seat of a small car.
How interesting is that?
Edmund, Gerald and Jon drop off somewhere to take bus while I stay in the car.
Alighted at Bishan, went home, already 11.30
Taken medicine and now blogging.
Tomorrow need meet with Jian Zhong at Bishan MRT 8.30am ok?
Dont miss me in class tomorrow.

In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue,
a strong fortress to save me.
Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
Psalm 31 : 1 - 4.

Been reading and stumped across these verses.
Yeah, so many things have been happening.
From friend's close ones death to friend's not being able to be friends.
It really got me thinking.
Everything you have, whether it is a simple thing or problem,
just bring it to the Lord, let him guide you through.
So I think this post would be thanking the Lord.
First and foremost, I want to thank the Lord for helping through my memory verse on yesterday.
Prayed that he would help me remember it on the previous Sunday.
Didn't look at it for a week and when I was doing the memory verse, I just remembered it so clearly.
Even though it seems to be a small matter but it is a big thing to me.
Another thing is that I want to thank God for giving me such an eventful year for 2009.
Next step would be Fuel Prayer this Friday and Saturday.
Followed by hoping to join Icamp 2009.
Lastly is to thank God for a wonderful start of school for the year 2009.

Memory Verse for 10 Jan 09.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw of everything that hinders and the sin so easily entangles, let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12: 1 - 3.

Few days didn't post.
Busy with school work.
In any case today is Friday, can rest but tomorrow can't, need go school.
Tuesday was so so.
Mr Bryan Oei still as funny.
My new meimei ask me look for her.
Still can't find.

Wednesday was a long day.
Finally spotted meimei from a far.
Thanks to buying a bottle of water.
I buy, hear people laugh so loud, know who it would be.
Had to stay back for extra maths class.
My homework for last year lost liao.
Gone case, can't find at home so on Saturday GG.
After class, went library to borrow Chinese book.
Who want to read siah.
Borrow is for show only.
Go library like in gang -.-''
Got at least 10-15 of us go together.
Borrow 2 books.
Anyway good, following week don't need to borrow.

Yesterday was another so so day.
Been going school with my good friend.
Geography lesson like so boring lor.
Hear teacher want to sleep.
Not forgetting the wonderful 16degrees aircon.
So sinful.
Sec4s release at 1.30 as we going for poly open house.
Didnt go as Navan told teacher liao.
Stay in Com lab do some preparations.
Got some ccas having orientation.
On way home, saw Huiyu.
Threw her water bottle into dustbin.
Who ask you keep secret about me and some people.
That only you can know.
At least you said your own secret about yourself and xiangshun.
Came home leg pain.
Guai leh. Went do homework.
Haha.

Today, class also so boring.
Mdm Ong practically skip her class.
Left 10mins.
Not bad this teacher.
Mr Bryan Oei say his mistake can find out mistake what a joke siah.
11.10 dismissed go NYP.
Since when was the last time I went there?
AEM week lor.
Miss those guys siah.
Go Nanyang, the student leaders so blur.
Not sure where which buildings is.
Too bad didnt see Valerie but saw the gay guy.
Go back school, needed do preparation for orientation.
Thanks to Xiangshun and Xinyi act.
Touch here touch there.
Make 10 sec 1 join robotics siah.
Total 21 students sign up, looks like will be lesser.
Tired day.
Talked to my new meimei.

I just not sure how to describe about today.
It just seemed like it was filled with mixed feelings.
Going school with friends.
Had a boring start of school until the first period.
It was the news that probably shocked the whole class.
After hearing that terrible news, for a moment, the class became so quiet.
Everyone must have felt sorry for the person or is just thinking in what way could they be help in.
Once we all heard the news, our teachers told us to write on a piece of paper, in what way could we help in.
Yeah, besides the usual of helping to collect the person's work and helping the person cope with their studies.
It could be done in many ways.
One major way is probably not raking up the past.
For me, I would try in any way that I am able to help in but most importantly is to keep the person in prayer.
I just want to say that we, our class, would be there for you when you are in need.
However whenever you are down, seek the Lord.
One thing I still cannot grasp is that everything happens so fast.
From being blessed from God during the camp, to school reopen and nominated for welfare rap, to doing my duty as a welfare rap by making a card.
Within 2 days of school, so many things happen.
Is this my walk with God so that he would make me into a man of peace, a peacemaker?
To prevent any trouble or arguments that might happen in the weeks to come due to the matter?
It sure would be a hard task if anything happens but I will do it with all my might and soul and 101% for God.

Yesterday was the first cell group session of the year.
So how it felt much different from last year.
Perhaps it could be the new game and forfeits.
Forfeit for me was to hug someone and the person must hug back.
So lucky for me the guy did and someone who saw it, asked for one.
Haha. Fun.
A.P. was teaching on Hebrews 12:1-3.
Next week doing memory verse on it.
Yeah, ever more ready to do it.
I think perhaps my motto for the year is 101% for God.
Youth service book 2 rows.
Not sure where Gloria, Tina, Sierra, A.P. and U.C. went.
So only 1 and half rows taken.
Who knew that the friends Gerald and Edmund invited turns out to be my primary school friends.
What a turn of events.
Even yesterday's worship songs, I played them on Friday night.
Yesterday Service's word was done by Pastor Jen.
It was on Transformation.
2 Cor 3: 12 - 18.
1 a. Gpd jas am on-going desire to transform us.
v.16 God has remove every obstacle stands between Him and us.
1 John 4:9
b. Being transformed is a result of seeing Jesus. v.18
transformed (v.18)
-> Greek "metaorphoo''
-> Metamorphosis

"trans" - to go beyond and on through to other side.
''form'' - "forma" (Latin), beauty

2. Are we being transformed?

3. How do we transform?

"The Holy Spirit uses the Word of God to make the Child of God like the Son of God."

Yeah, that's what learn from yesterday's service.
Just want to know what's with everyone thinking the cell will split soon?

Yeah yesterday was New Year.
So was Yun Ling's and Jian Zhong's Birthday.
Yeah Wish you a Happy and Blessed Birthday.
Morning as usual.
Waking late.
Not sure to waking early.
Perhaps too tired from camp.
Woke up just nice lunch time.
-.-''
Didn't feel hungry so went used computer.
3pm just finished lunch.
4.45pm got ready go out meet cell group.
Left house at 5.05pm.
Took bus to Bishan.
Went Mac and saw Marcus, Samuel and Joan.
Jon and Chong Hao were at Popular buying things.
Sierra came next and started doing homework.
Same as Gerald.
After decorating card, went to buy the Ipod Shuffle for Jian Zhong as a cell group present.
Chipped in $20 as at first each person was $10 but there was short so i chip in another $10.
Since we are blessed to be a blessing, won't it be a blessing to give a present what Jian Zhong wants.
Hot pink out of stock so we settled for a lime green.
Walked to Jian Zhong's house.
A bit lost but some how we managed.
Reached Jian Zhong's condo.
Sierra and Chong Hao continued doing the card.
Thanks Chong Hao for helping with the card even through you are not from our cell.
Carmen, Jolene, Cherlene, Edmund, A.P. and U.C. came later.
It was fun at Jian Zhong's Birthday.
Ate a bit of food then played indian poker with the cell.
Jon most unlucky.
Lost the most so we decided he would help do something.
It was to help to throw Jian Zhong into the swimming pool.
Haha.
Funny thing was Jon and Gerald was carring Jian Zhong but some how when throwing, Jon was throwning into the pool.
Then Gerald and Jian Zhong there stunned.
Chong Hao then pushed them in.
Jon came up and pushed Marcus in.
Then Jon and Marcus wanted gang on Chong Hao to push him in water.
Lucky Chong Hao, Samuel, Edmund and I didnt got push.
All of the remaining guys stayed dry.
The girls asked whether the rest of us wanted to get wet but we did not want to.
Went up to Jian Zhong house.
The guys who jumped into the water, changed clothes.
Went down, soon they cut cake.
Ate the cake then soon went home with Chong Hao, Sierra, Gerald and Edmund.

Today.
School finally reopen.
Met a few of my classmates.
Assembly was boring.
Class was boring.
Classroom was just as I had expected where it would be.
Then teacher wanted us to elect the class commitee.
Chairman and vice chairman is the shortest people in our class I think.
Next was welfare rap.
Need both male and female raps.
My name kenna elected there.
I see my name there knew that confirm one of the highest and I was correct.
Being the welfare rap was a surprised for me.
Doing the spiritual spa at camp, God told me that I was to be a man of peace, a comforter and a peacemaker to others.
And here I am, being selected for a welfare rap.
Bless the Lord.
I just think perhaps God wants me to begin it?
Being the light in my school and friends for them to see.
I think that it is not by just people voting but is by God's plan for me to do it.
Yeah. Going off.
Tomorrow church.
I think it is like I am finally looking forward to church again.
Just with a different purpose.