I'm not emo.
Just blogging song lyrics.
For Fun Laughter Peace Joy.

WestLife
Against All Odds

[Shane:]
How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace,
When I'm standing taking every breath,
With you, ooohhh,
You're the only one who really knew me,
At all.

[Mariah:]
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave,
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears,
You're the only one who really knew me at all.

So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face,
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
If you're coming back to me it's against all odds,
And that's what I've got to face.

[Mark:]
I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry,
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why,
You're the only one who really knew me at all.

[Mariah:]
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face,
So take a look at me now,
So there's just an empty space,
But to wait for you is all I can do,
When that's what I've got to face.

Take a good look at me now,
Cause I'll be standing here,
([Mark:] Standing here)
And you coming back to me is against all odds,
And that's the chance I've got to take.

[Westlife:]
Got to take
Got to take

[Mariah:]
Ooh
Take a look at me now

[Westlife:]
Take a look at me now.

Westlife
Every Little Thing You Do

hello let me know if you hear me
hello if you want to be near let me know
and i'll never let you go

hey love when you ask what i feel
i say love when you ask how i know i say trust

and if that's not enough

chorus
it's every little thing you do
that makes me fall in love with you
there isn't a way that i can show you
ever since i've come to know you
it's every little thing you say
that makes me wanna feel this way
there's not a thing that i can point to
'cause it's every little thing you do

don't ask why let's just feel what we feel
'cause sometimes it's the secret that keeps it alive
but if you need a reason why

repeat chorus

is it your smile or your laugh or your heart
does it really matter why i love you
anywhere there's a crowd you stand out
can't you see why they can't ignore you
if you wanna know
why i can't let go
let me explain to you
that every little dream comes true
with every little thing you do

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they were lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

All:
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

[Shane:]
All over again

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

[All:]
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

[Mark:]
The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

[All:]
I'm never gonna say goodbye
[Mark:]
(I'm never gonna say goodbye)
[All:]
Cos I never wanna see you cry
[Mark:]
(never wanna see you cry) All:
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
[Mark:]
(swear it all over again and I)
[All:]
I'm never gonna treat you bad
[Mark:]
(never gonna treat you bad)
[All:]
Cos I never wanna see you sad
[Mark:]
(never wanna see you sad)
[All:]
I swore to share your joy and your pain
[Mark:]
(oh no, oh no)
[All:]
And I swear it all over again

[Mark:]
All over again
All over again
And I swear it all over again

After reading Henry blog the post done by his sister.
Really make me feel very sorry for him.
Just really make me think a lot about it.
Me and him are like in the same boat just that our situations are slightly different.
Both about girls just that one is sick another is not.
It just really makes me reflect a lot what happen recently.
I really hope he will get well.
These reflections just seem to speak to me.
Having emotional problems is one thing but with medical?
Thats like worst.
I really think I have emotional problems also.
I feel like saying what I really wanted to say.
Even a sorry.
I don't want to regret not saying it.
To think I thought regretting to say it was nothing.
Just realised that it really means a lot to me.
I really dun want anything to happen to me to make me regret this.
Have made a few regrets but I dont want to keep on regretting.

Yesterday got my new phone.
Soso la.
Usual things in school but just seems more strange.
Still not hungry for like ever.
I go do homework liao.

Today I shall blog about today and yesterday.
Went to church.
Reach there, saw Gerald with his friends that he brought.
Jian Zhong also brought friends from NJC.
So was like the odd one out there who was with them waiting for cell.
I didnt bring friends.
Next time I will.
Cell was pretty slack.
Mostly games.
5pm went down for the newcomers to receive their prophetic art.
Was given the God Loves sticker.
Why was the sticker God Loves?
As it was Got Love Service.
Hospitality was given donuts to all.
Donuts FTW.
Fun day even through the title of the service makes me feel quite awkward.
Today did homework.
Mostly Secondary 3 work.
Teacher give us do for revision.
And crap quite a few I have forgotten how to do.
It seems like I need to start revision sooner than expected.
Did the homework until 5.30pm.
Went J8 for dinner.
Met Esther there.
LOL.
Went to trumpet praise get my new daily bread.
After that, went to a few phone shops look at phones.
Yes I am getting a new phone soon.
Instead of buying a phone today, bought a pair of sport shoe.
Still need go through test to find the right pair of shoe to buy.
Came home, watched a bit of TV and continue with the rest of maths questions.
Going sleep soon.

Nothing to do.
So did

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Death
Looked down on
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I am going OMG.
There sure got something wrong with it.

Nowadays really find msn very sianz.
Everything got to do with computer like very sian.
As got hardly people to talk to. Haiz.
Maybe is time I start to study.
Starting to think of closing blog as there seem like no point blogging.
I got no idea why I started it in the first place.
If studies really happen to help me through, I should just take that gamble.
Rather than spending time whole day on computer.
Starting to feel a big change in my life.
Not just growing in the Lord but in other aspects of my life.
Just listened to a song called Don't Look Back.
The first line of chorus is you have to fight for what you believe in.
In a way you can say I'm losing my fighting spirit day by day.
Something that is not noticed by people around me.
However it only seems like I growing spiritually.
Just almost 1year since I was baptized.
And there is a change in me?
My blog seem now to be something to really question myself about my life.
It just no longer seem like a daily entry of my life.
I am really shining for the Lord?
I know that change is something unavoidable but it just seem to keep changing so much this year.
There is even a change of my appetite.
Maybe is why I feeling weak physically.
I can see that now everything seems bleak.
I finally understand why primary school people like to call me a nerd.
Some facts just cant be changed.
Now my priorities in life is just God and studies.
Feelings just pulls me down in life.

Labels: Reflections on 1/12 of the year 2009

There For Tomorrow - Remember When

Your initial reply hit me undercover
When I lost my head to it
It was out of its time, it was undiscovered
As I caught my breath again
You were running out of lies to keep me under
Afraid of your back hands (?)
So to speak, you had me shaking at the knees

But I don't know the way out of this mess
No, I don't know the way out of this mess
And if you would've seen me at my best
Would it have changed anything at all?

Remember when -- we never had to remember when times were better
When times were better than this
We never had to remember when times were better
When times were better than this

The door was always open
But still not nearly enough to let me in
and my eyes are wide awake,
And i can see you clearly, but you don't stand out one bit.
I was always loud enough just for you to hear me
You never caught the wind
Now watch me break
Breakdown this time, this time again

But I don't know the way out of this mess
No, I don't know the way out of this mess
And if you would've seen me at my best
Would it have changed anything at all?

Remember when -- we never had to remember when times were better
When times were better than this
We never had to remember when times were better
When times were better than this
(When times were better, when times were better than this [x2])

And I'm still waiting for a sign
Or just a win-win situation
Can I hear it one more time?
Without the sound of devastation setting in

Your initial reply hit me undercover
When I lost my head to it
It was out of its time, it was undiscovered
When you let me in
Oh, won't you let me in?

Remember when -- we never had to remember when times were better
When times were better than this
We never had to remember when times were better
When times were better than this

Do you remember, remember when?
Do you remember, remember when?
We never had to remember when times were better
When times were better than this
(When times were better, when times were better than this [x2])

Still having that sudden shock from the yesterday's SPA exam.
Went school very early today.
Not sure why?
Even not sure why I even went to do the Amaths homework Mr Oei gave us when he went for camp.
Everyone is still talking about the SPA paper.
And worst we will only know the result next year.
I want die arhhh.
Morning PE was rudby.
Plain boring siah.
Suppose to form groups.
Me and Jeson only.
Boredom.
Prefer to play soccer.
Slyvester play until injure leg.
Pro.
Maths lesson continue do the homework while secretly listening to music.
English lesson teacher said we look like we were angry at someone and could not pay attention in class.
LOL.
Recess was slack.
SS also slack.
Went home put bag before going school for cca.
I want die.
Being mentor to sec2.
Not sure why.
Monday cant eat.
Now becoming unable to eat.
Currently on 2 competitions.
Both same day.
How nice is that?
Stressed up liao.
Even teacher ask how am I preparing for studies.
And my answer is nothing.
Found another nice song.
Titled Don't Look Back.
Tomorrow having Got Love Service.
What a nice question that is.
Tired and not hungry.
My life sure is getting weird.

Sianz la.
Today is the first SPA paper.
OMG. CMI.
First period, ms mok just came in to take the period.
Pro hor. Gave us back our practise SPA assignments.
Went through the papers.
Phy was plain boring.
Learn dunno what thing.
Geog teacher at camp.
Work was given.
During other people MT period, I having phy.
Did O level paper ok.
Teacher say wont be as easy as that.
So sad.
English period, ms mok also take over.
To go through notes for our later SPA.
Time for SPA.
Die liao.
Time pass so fast during spa.
I want die leh.
Went out to canteen for lunch with chenwei, fedeline, juai and angeline.
Waited for other group to be released.
Check answers with them.
Found out that I was so dead.
Dead.. Dead.. Dead..

ARHHH.
Today didnt even sleep at all.
Now more than 24hours awake.
Not to mention didnt eat dinner yesterday and didnt eat breakfast and lunch.
Didnt even feel like eating dinner today but force myself to eat.
I have no idea whats wrong with me. Jeson say i lovesick maybe he is correct.
I think i would need to pray on that.
Oh ya.
Today was our group first meeting for prayer.
75% of us were there.
Even though it was like a short 10mins of fellowship and prayer.
It is still better than not doing anything about it.
I also did what I came across yesterday during Quiet Time.
So just hope everything fine. Friends for time being? Just hope u remain safe and sound during the camp.
SPA O Level coming closer.
Not sure whether will do well.
With this lack of sleep and lack of nutrients in my body.
Quiet Time again.
Bye.
See whether can sleep today.

Had my Quiet Time in the afternoon.
Just so amazing.
My quiet time was about forgiveness.
I think I already know what God wants me to do tomorrow.
Just want to thank God for this.
Perhaps this is the answer to my prayer during the past few days.
I shall do it since it is what my God wants me to do.

Life just seem to keep going down.
What way am I different from the past?
I think I have lost my identity in life.
I just have too many unanswered questions in life.
All are unable to be answered by me or anyone.
Lost my appetite to eat but forcing myself to eat.
Unable to concentrate in class.
Yet I am still planning for a revival in school.
Revival in Christ.
Carrying such a burden yet having so many emotional problems.
No more faith in who are really my friends in life.
No one understand me.
My only friend seem to be my God.
My rock of refuge.
My fortress of life.
I want to pray Lord that all these pain and suffering would be gone.
I just want to die

Not sure why but there is strange going on with my life.
The things that are probably lacking in my life is like peace and joy.
It may seems that I look happy but actually I'm not.
What are the actual meanings of true peace and joy?
How am I able to obtain peace and joy in my heart?
Some how it was answered during yesterday's cell group.
Isaiah 55:1-13 answered me.
In v.12-13, it is written that you would get peace and joy in your heart if you seek God.
It really seem to speak to me as life now is so terrible.
So what if I am really able to get peace and joy in my heart?
I am still not satisfied with life.
Full of questions about my life needed to be answered.
So many people are asking me to turn back to my old self.
The Hermit life.
The hermit life of having the computer as the only friend.
Is my new life that bad?
Started the year with a motion.
Blessed to be a blessing.
Yet I have done nothing to be a blessing to others.
Only to have brought them suffering.
Another one was to follow God, becoming a peacemaker.
And what I am doing?
Causing trouble one after another.
Or is God just testing my faith in him?
Feeling so sick about what been going through this first two months.
I seriously need prayer about my life.
I want to know God more but things in life is pulling me down.
Need to pray for God's guidance in my life.

Since tomorrow is Valentine Day.
Music: Secret Valentine - We The Kings



Soft kiss and wine
what a pretty friend of mine
we're finally intertwined
nervous and shy
for the moment
we will come
alive
tonight

secret valentine

We'll write a song
that turns out the lights
when both boy and girl
start suddenly shaking inside
don't waste your time
speed up your breathing
just close your eyes
we'll hope it's not for nothing at all

lay down
be still
don't worry
talk they will
I'll be loving you until
morning's first light
breaks tomorrow
I'll take care of you tonight

secret valentine

We'll write a song
that turns out the lights
when both boy and girl
start suddenly shaking inside
don't waste your time
speed up your breathing
just close your eyes
we'll hope it's not for nothing at all

when guilt fills your head
brush off
rise up from the dead
this is the moment that we
will come alive
brace yourself for love
sweet love, secret love.

We'll write a song
that turns out the lights
when both boy and girl
start suddenly shaking inside
don't waste your time
speed up your breathing
just close your eyes
we'll hope it's not for nothing at all

Boring day at school.
After school, we eat lunch with Jing Ze, MingHao, Angeline & YunLing.
Went home, audi.
Practically whole day audi.
Msn.
Nothing else liao.

Sunday was like having advise from so many people.
All say monday must talk.
In end not only monday didnt.
Today also didnt.
Sorry to say it was sway to see ur mother.
Didnt know that it would make u that angry.
I know that nothing going make you happy.
So perhaps I should not go and talk to you about anything.
Maybe everything should just be kept to myself whether I should be concern about it or not.
Also sorry to my sister, her birthday, everyone should be happy but I'm not.
I dont want to go school anymore, have to agree with my friends that secondary 4 sux.
Everything I am using the internet, I would happen to see the link that I saved about the story.
Change everything back to primary school.
The carefree I.
Everything just seems to be stacking up but no one just gives a damn.
Primary school seemed like I have everything.
From great friends to having fun without thinking of the next day.
Everything just changed when I entered secondary school.
All things seemed lost.
Saw my TreasureHunt Camp pictures.
Remember what Pastor Victor like spoke about my life.
A Peacemaker?
Never ending peace?
There only seems to be a troubled heart.
Yes, it maybe true that time will tell but I just don't sense the peace within me.
I seem more of a trouble-maker.
Seriously doubting myself whether I have brought peace to anyone's life.
Seems more of the discomfort.

Today woke up 11.
How great is that.
From 3am to 11am.
I am crazy.
1pm bused to J8 to take MRT to Redhill.
Been quite a while since I went Redhill.
Last time was like in November.
Seems long.
To be honest, today didnt really feel like going because of past events.
But went as if stay at home, sure will think.
So went for it.
At least the whole outreach at Redhill stop me from thinking.
Seeing the children there happy also can make you happy.
Went for Youth Service after soon long.
During worship, just wanted to let down all my burdens to God.
As I was doing that, the worship leader said Come on and give your troubles to God.
Weird eh.
Was just praying about the things that recently happened.
Then it reminded me of the verse, John 4 : 27 .
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
So just continued to pray for peace, comfort in the heart as well as for her.
Continued with worship, just so happen that the next week songs were Your Love Never Fails and How Can I Keep From Singing.
These songs just really touched my heart, removing the troubles.
Praise the Lord.
Learn to bring my burdens before God.
Is really something nice to experience.
I just want to start rearranging my priorities.
1. God.
2.You.
3. Family.
4. School.

Today is probably another one of the lowest points in my life this year.
Just feel like I am nothing but bringing trouble to people.
I think no words is able to describe how I really am feeling now.
Just feel so guilty of causing you all these stress and uneasiness in your life.
I'm sure that nothing can feel as terrible as that.
Worst this was not said by you but was said through your teachers.
Seems like I not even fit to be anybody friend.
Sorry for causing all these problems in your life now.
It just came to mind that seems that what somethings are not meant to be said shouldnt be said at all.
It is so easy to picture what would happen if I didnt say it.
Yes, it is true that I like you but whats the use?
Just telling you already make so many things complicated.
Rather live to regret than to make things difficult for you.
Now that I heard that you are so stressed, I really dont want things to be worst for your.
Why dont it just be mine to deal with.
Yes, it is my fault for pulling you into the water.
Looks like I'm going to live with this.
Even if you tell me you have a personal reason, I believe that most of it also have to do with me.
Even telling you tell you I wont sms you anymore just hurts me.
It is just a lonely world.

I'm missing you.
Everyone comments how emo it is but I don't care.
I see myself like that liao.
Really wonder how am I going take SPA exams siah.
Was glad my brochure did extremely well.
23/30
First time so high.
So many test this week.
GG siah.
I go study liao.
Tmr got Bio test.
Saturday so unlucky got class.
Then afternoon got outreach.
Lucky we no longer going out that day.