Haiz. So many things happened in the past week.
It is like so shocking and confusing.
It is like the exact feelings last year.
No it is not the same thing that happen.
Is more of a family thing.
It really does make you really feel very helpless.
But not as emo as last year.
Want talk to someone of same age about it also quite hard to say.
It is not like a situation that others can really understand unlike what I have been through last year.
Who would have guessed, that the person I actually wanted to speak to about was that person.
1year never talk.
Hard to start a conversation.
As usual, no matter what, always need to move forward.
Hopefully this family problem would be cleared soon.

Poly work also getting quite busy le.
Is like one hand has to handle all these work, projects and studies.
Another is to like not to get my emotions affected and deal with family problem.
Typing out here while thinking about it already making me feel stressful about it.
Like what people say, burying self in work is just running away from the problem.
I really hope it wont like last for a month.
Once this is over and resolved, hopefully the previous one last year could be resolved too.
Gambatei (Idk whether is like that spelled).

The funny thing is, in order not to think about it, I'm re-watching Clannad again.
Not sure whether is to make myself cry or what siah.
Maybe is to just ignore reality and to look at fantasy.
But if that is the case, then probably wrong anime.
Clannad = Most Tear-jerking anime.
Watch also will want cry.
Haha. Seeing myself typing all these. Dunno what I thinking.
To bluff myself?
Who knows?

Anyway, fullmetal alchemist last OP full version is out.
English translation really sound like it fits my current situation.
Anyway, if there really is anyone who reads my blog, dont need worry.
I sure will be able to hang on. =D

Rain - SID
六月の嘘　目の前の本当　セピアにしまいこみ
寄り添うとか　温もりとか　わからなくなってた

「君はひとりで平気だから…ね」と　押しつけて　さよなら
その類の気休めなら　聞き飽きた筈なのに

鳴り止まない　容赦ない思い出たちは　許してくれそうにもない
目を閉じれば　勢いは増すばかりで　遠巻きで　君が笑う

雨は　いつか止むのでしょうか　ずいぶん長い間　冷たい
雨は　どうして僕を選ぶの　逃げ場のない　僕を選ぶの

やっと見つけた　新しい朝は　月日が邪魔をする
向かう先は　「次」じゃなくて　「過」ばかり追いかけた

慰めから　きっかけをくれた君と　恨めしく　怖がりな僕
そろそろかな　手探り　疲れた頬を　葛藤がこぼれ落ちる

過去を知りたがらない瞳　洗い流してくれる指
優しい歩幅で　癒す傷跡　届きそうで　届かない距離

雨は　いつか止むのでしょうか　ずいぶん長い間　冷たい
雨は　どうして僕を選ぶの　包まれて　いいかな

雨は　止むことを知らずに　今日も降り続くけれど
そっと　差し出した傘の中で　温もりに　寄り添いながら

English translation

June’s lies and the truth in front of my eyes are put away in sepia tones
Nestling close to one another, warmth; I don’t understand those things anymore

“You’ll be fine on your own… right?” you said, forcing it upon me and then you said goodbye
If it’s going to be that kind of consolation then I should be tired of hearing it by now

Endlessly ringing; the merciless memories seem to have no intention of forgiving me
If i close my eyes they will only grow surrounding me at a distance you laugh

Will the rain ever stop, I wonder? For a pretty long time now it’s been cold
Why does the rain choose me? Why does it choose me who has nowhere to escape to?

Time intrudes on the new morning I finally found
The direction I face is not the future I kept chasing after the past

You, who gave me a new start by your consolations and the hateful and cowardly me
It’s about time… Fumbling, my troubles spill down my tired cheeks

Eyes that don’t want to know the past and fingers that can wash it all away
Scars heal at a gentle pace; at an unreachable distancethat seems to be within reach

Will the rain ever stop, I wonder? For a pretty long time now it’s been cold
Why does the rain choose me? I wonder if it’s ok to let it cover me

The rain keeps on falling today as well knowing no end
While we quietly nestle together under the umbrella I hold